Tonight I spent most of my evening chatting with my online friends. I talked to 5 different people and neglected texting my real life friends. I was more interested in my online people.
My German friend Lars sent me a brief video today and I heard his voice. I really have enjoyed talking to him. And while we use translator apps, it works. I'm sad that he lives so far away. I have another friend in Mexico, Salvador. He is interesting too being a chef and a brewer. And several friends in the states. Talked to three Americans tonight.
I am kind of feeling guilty in a way. Several of these dudes have shown interest in the "what if" we meet and going to the next level in either relationship or at the least meeting.
That is what brings my pangs of guilt. I like all of these people and most are people I would be attracted to in person. But the fear of online dating keeps me from accepting the idea of the offers.
Plus distance and I realize that sounds lame after I complained about being dumped over distance. Though the fear of online dating trumps distance. But at any rate I still enjoy all the different friends. It just comes down to boundaries I suppose.
I'm just so tired of rejection in real life that I avoid the subject while online. I'm an coward to this stuff. I ended up signing off so I could avoid the subject tonight. Anyway I have to get up early so signing off here too. Just needed to get my feelings on.
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